People are so shocked I love this guy, so here we are.
I am pathetic
I don’t care if people think this, I don’t care what people think of me. I mean what could someone’s opinion of me do to me now? I am at the “what is the most creative way to die” stage, you think saying i’m stupid is going to hurt me? I lost everything that was important to me, losing the respect of a stranger means nothing.
And maybe pathic for not walking out the first time he hurt me. Or the first lie I caught him in. People say he’s pathetic. I mean they got a point but it’s still a bit of a raw wound and I don’t know how much was/is in his control. The mystery du jour.
I am an idiot for a lot of things though, but I can’t change them now. Maybe one day I’ll get the chance to talk to him properly and I’ll tell him, right now, who knows if that happens. I was refused even this. The ex that never loved him, used him, got this and more but me? The idiot who loved him? Nothing.
Makes sense doesn’t it? We see what happens when we go to court. The truth always comes out, even if the truth is I’m an idiot for loving him.