I miss him, I know that makes people want to slap me, but I do. I bet he could use a hug and a good night of sleep right now. But he won’t let me help him. There is nothing I can do unless he reaches out. That’s hard. I can feel he’s not ok, it’s hard to describe. Just a strong feeling. Wonder if he knows how lucky he has that someone loves him this much?
Nothing had to be like this, nothing has to continue like this.
Even during his episodes, he trusted I loved him, not sure why he didn’t do that this time. Things would have been very different. I’m mad at it all, I don’t know how much is him, how much is/was in his control. None of this is normal. It’s hard to love someone and see them making a mess of their life, and you can’t do anything but sit by and watch the dumpster fire.
We see what happens, maybe he asks for help.