Nothing really new, still upset, still confused, still want my stuff back, still want answers.
Some moments I feel better than others, most of the time I’m just numb. Something is missing, my heart, my faith in humans, in the world, in some higher being.
I miss having a home, having him to talk to, to sleep next to, and his silly grin. I don’t know how that just goes away. Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling, and I don’t have that now. Or a home either, or a future, or anything to look forward to.
I don’t know how to change this. Well if I had answers maybe it helped, if he admitted he fucked up and what he did was wrong, could help. Neither do I see happening now, although answers will come out, eventually.
Hope destroying my life made his somehow better and that karma will do it’s thing.
Ok and to address the elephant in the room, I don’t know why he opens his insta. He never had it open when I first talked to him, or while we were together. I had to push him to even post a story. So maybe it’s for his girlfriend, someone else, he’s trying to get someone’s attention, just not sure who. Although he does get attention, just not from the people he wants it from. Oh and the new account I don’t know who is behind it, but I laughed out loud.